Finally! Time to Celebrate!

Abby did it! She got a "yes" from Oregon State University!!! Go Beavs!

After the struggles and the tears and the despair the hard part is over. If you are not a person with ADD you have no idea how difficult high school can be. Six hours a day of sitting and struggling to stay focused while learning things that really don't interest you is very much like a punishment, a sentence.

But hopefully with having her properly identified she will receive the accomodations she deserves in college and will grow and bloom and expand. Her brilliant mind, evident by a high IQ and high national ranking on the SAT and ACT tests, will finally be put to use in the areas she wants to study. 

Oh, Abby...you've done it! You've DONE IT! Now go show the world your true potential! Be that face of Christ to all. You have the heart and the mind. I'm so thankful you never gave up!

Wind Storm and Swim Meet

Whew! Well, blow me down! 

I was late as usual this morning leaving for church. I like to leave 20 minutes early to secure my "spot" (first pew on the far left) but Max was not cooperating. I was frantic trying to get out of the neighborhood and on my way but my usual route via 37th was blocked by a large confer tree that was blown over during the night. I actually heard this one fall just before midnight. I mistakenly thought the neighbor's tree had blown over into our pool or on our solar panels. 

We turned around and found another way out of the 'hood. We got to church and had to sit in the second row. Bummer. Right after church we hurried to the swim meet at Mt. Hood CC. On the drive out there we witnessed a lot of blow downs and scattered power outtages. Luckily the college had electricity and we could have our meet.

This was the final meet for Bella's debut year of swimming. It was bittersweet. I'm glad it is over as the commitment cuts into family life, but I  know how much she enjoyed it. I hope she will continue loving swim team and join again next year. I asked if she wanted to sign up for summer swim team and she said, "I think I'll just join the English Family pool this summer." Ahhhh, what a good girl! Keep it simple, eh?

Cheers and stay out of the wind.

Amazing Graces and the light brightens for Abby

Yesterday was my monthly Amazing Graces meeting. We are a group of parents with special needs children. Some having learning differences, some have medical issues and all deserve our love, support and advocacy. I have gained so much appreciation for these children by hearing the stories from their parents. I almost feel like my daughter's needs are not severe enough for the group and perhaps I really shouldn't be there, but I need to be there because I need to learn more about what the other families are struggling with. I need to know what their challenges are because I must learn to appreciate life more.

I always feel more hopeful after the meeting. I feel more empowered which is important because next Wednesday I meet with Abby's principal. I plan on giving him insight into the silent masses of students who show up everyday and still end up with below passing grades. I want him to take notice of the teacher's responsibility to reach out to the students and admit they fail them because of their refusal to do so. I want teachers to become mentors to the students, to build trust with the students, and to modify their teaching style when necessary. 

Sure a teacher could suggest that perhaps kids, like Abby, are not capable of a rigorous college prep schooling, but I'd have to laugh at them. She is the poster child of La Salle's failure to teach because she is flippin' bright. She probably outscored many of them on her IQ test and her college entrance exams. Now what are you going to throw at me? She's bright. She's not being reached. She desperately wants to do well and to not be talked down to anymore by your staff. She wants to go to college but this college prep school we've paid through the nose for is standing in her way. More than anything, she loves her high school and friends, but is totally burned out on the treatment (or mistreatment) she receives at the hands of some of her teachers. They are aware of her challenges, but still, they just shrug their shoulders. I'm not going to war with the staff. I'm going to appeal to their Christian philosophy of teaching to the poor (only you can't be poor and attend this lasallian school)...this time poor is to be defined as "poor in ability to sit for seven hours and deal with staff untrained in compassion for diverse learners". Wish me luck.

But, the light did brighten for Abby. Her AP Bio class attended a very early morning lung surgery at Providence Hospital yesterday. The surgery itself was graphic and Abby didn't much enjoy that part, but afterwards different professionals came to discuss their role in the procedure. There was surgeon, the nurse, the anesthesiologist, and a social worker. Abby lit up when the social worker began describing her job. That is it! Abby thought. I want to work at the hospital as a social worker! How fascinating. She came home bubbling over.

I was so happy she has found something that gives her a bit of direction. She is a caring, compassionate girl. This is a perfect calling for her. Now to find the right university for her. That is our next hurdle. : )

Here we go again!

Last night was Bella's first swim meet. She was so nervous and I had several chats with her about what to expect. Her big sister, Abby, swam for many, many years and now it was Bella's turn. I prayed she would enjoy the meet and get over her jitters.

A couple of hours before the meet the head coach sent me a "heat sheet". I sat down with Bella and explained her events and her heats to her. The first individual event, 25 yard freestyle, looked promising. She was racing two girls younger than her. I figured this would be the race she could win and earn a "heat winner ribbon". That would take the pressure of her to win one. I said a quick prayer that her heat wouldn't be combined with another one. My prayers were answered!

Bella's relay won first place (because the other team was dq'd). She also won her heat in the freestyle. Next up: breaststroke. A very hard stroke, in deed! Bella won her heat because the first place finisher did not do a two handed touch at the end. So, huzzah, another heat winner ribbon for her! And then backstroke: she placed third in her heat.

Overall, a very positive experience and Bella was floating on air at the end. I was so happy for her, but equally sad for me. While sitting up in the stands, sweating, I realized I just restarted the whole swim parent thing. I did that to myself! 

At her celebration dinner she began asking about Abby's swim career. When did she go "year round"? My husband and I quickly explained that we will not allow another child to participate in a year round sport again. Bella didn't act sad, but I think inside she was a little bit. Perhaps we should have rephrased it: we won't encourage a child to do a year round sport again. If a child of ours has the motivation to push us to let them, then we might consider it. Otherwise it is not going to happen.

I'm proud of my little Bella giving it her all. I'm so happy it was a positive experience. Now on to the next activity.

Snow...again!

In keeping with my New Year's Resolution 2009, I got up and dressed to go to Jazzercise class. As I stepped outside I noticed mother nature decided to grace us with more snow. Here I am in my new Nike Shox shoes and walking in slushy mess to the car. Ugh...but I went. So there!

Although I did very well yesterday on making better food choices, I still have a long way to go. I started off grabbing for the pumpkin bread Anne made. What bad habits I've made over the years. So the rest of the day I tried to control it. Dinner was a challenge, but I purposely made it simple: Salmon, Broccoli, Pasta and Biscuits. I talked myself out of a second biscuit, but not out of seconds on the salmon and pasta. My bad! So I better burn off those calories today!

My plan is to finish organizing my desk and bedroom today. Then I want to do something very active with the kids: skating, bowling or whatever. I just don't want to spend the day sitting.

Tomorrow Bella has her first swim meet. I'm a bit nervous for her, but I'm not sharing that with her. She will be fine when she sees all her friends swimming with no issues. I'm sure she will do what she needs to do. Afterwards we'll go somewhere for a dinner. Somewhere that I can eat less fattening food, I hope.

My goal this week: 3 lbs. I am doing my best to make that happen.

More water.

More fruits/veggies.

Less bread.

Less sitting.

A miracle happened on the way to Mickey Finn's

After watching "Burn After Reading" at the Baghdad Theater, Kris and I decided to have a nightcap at Mickey Finn's. Driving up Woodstock a small dog (later identified as a bassett/pit bull mix) darted out in front of my car and I, gasp, ran over it...both front and back tires. (Mind you, I was going about 20 mph at most and there was no time to react. That little dog was quick!)

My heart sunk and I was just sick at the thought of what that poor animal must look like. I looked in my rear view mirror and saw it run off. I quickly turned around to find it. Two men who happen to witness the entire scene looked with us as we searched the bushes near a home it, and two companion dogs, ran to. Finally we got the owner to come to the door as we figured they owned all three dogs. Sure enough they did. And the little dog that I ran over ran right into the house. The only tell tale sign was my tire tread marks over her back. Ugh..

I was very persistent with the owner that the dog needed immediate medical attention. My car is a large vehicle and very heavy. No way could that little dog survive without medical intervention. I left my phone number and got the number of the two witnesses just in case.

The owner did take the dog immediately to the vet hospital. After x-rays and a thorough work up it was determined that the dog suffered no broken bones or internal injuries. Some how it managed to survive a heavy SUV rolling over it twice. It was given some pain meds for the soreness and told to rest for two weeks. Then, the vet determined, it should be back to normal.

The owner was very apologetic and let me know that the dogs have learned how to unlatch the gate, unbeknownst to her. She will remedy it, she says, and she is so grateful that we stopped and took the time to alert them to her dog's needs.

I was relieved as I was so sick with worry all night. I tried to sleep, but all I could do is have nightmares. I prayed that the little dog wasn't suffering. My prayers were answered.

I might bring them a dog basket of treats later this week. Perhaps a soft dog bed, too. Some place for "Lillieth" to recoup from this traumatic accident. Stay safe, little doggie. Stay in your yard and grow to be an old doggie one day!

I had a nightmare last night

Well, to be honest, it was most likely this morning. Hard to tell what time it was due to how dark our mornings are lately. But that isn't important. It was a horrible nightmare involving my son, Max.

Max, who is four years old, is my only son. He is also my baby and I let him know that all the time. In my nightmare, he is an infant again. I am at the hospital with him. He is suffering from some sort of incurable infliction. The doctors have given him medicine to stop the pain and I am holding him trying so hard to maintain my gaze. I believe that if I don't look away he can't slip away into death. I have tears rolling down my face as I softly talk to him. I am pleading for God to save him. But the doctors tell me death is inevitable. I am pained beyond belief. I don't want to let him go. I can't accept he has to die.

And I wake up scared and shaken. I try to piece reality to together. I pray that it was just a bad dream. And then I hear him talking with my husband in the kitchen. He is sharing some wonderful thoughts he had and what type of cereal he'd like to eat. Thank you God.

I believe I know why I had this nightmare. I've been thinking a lot about Kevin the past week. Kevin is a 15 year old boy who died last month. He was the younger brother of teenage daughter's friend. The death was a bizarre accident at home. Purely an accident, but such a total tragedy. I attended the funeral with my daughter and listened to his friends, family and finally his mother speak. I didn't know Kevin or his parents, but when his mom spoke I felt like I was there with them when they found Kevin's body. I felt the pain of this being the last time she tucks in him at night. I teared up and tried hard to escape the grief but it consumed me.

Now, after my nightmare, I understand how difficult it would be to pick up and go on after losing your baby. I hope to never have to experience it, but if God decides to take one of my children home to Heaven before me then I hope to face that grief with as much grace as Kevin's mom.